As I write, I'm somewhat hesitant to reveal too much - yet I'm not sure anything but will explain my intentions and the decisions I've made in the past month.
Very shortly after Halloween, I was rushing through the grocery store (seeking what I now forget) and there lined in perfect little rows - Christmas decorations. All sparkly golds, greens, reds and whites. I stopped in my rushed tracks, frozen and let my stomach fall. I hadn't noticed, but I must have ripped the ear-buds out of my ears too. I could hear Eddie Vedder singing 'Sheets of empty canvas; untouched sheets of clay.....' somewhere by my knees.
I had forgotten about Christmas. Little fucker snuck up on me.
I have mixed feelings about Christmas. I won't sit here and give a detailed account of how Christmas sometimes hurts a little inside - it is what it is. I just do not want to take away from those hurting a lot inside this time of year. I have nothing to be ungrateful for and I don't want this to come across as if something is missing.
But maybe that's it.
This year's reminder shook me a little more than usual.
I lost a family this year. A big wonderful family.
Standing there in front of those perfect rows of coloured bulbs, I realized I had to make Christmas extraordinary this year. Just like my Sundays - I needed to come up with something - something that was going to make me smile from ear to ear and fill my heart with a lot less hurts.
So - when Life gives you Lemons.....
A few weeks later, late at night, the topic of Christmas came up. My friend Lex threw out a spectacular idea for Christmas. My first reaction was 'Why the fuck not? - LET'S DO IT!!'. Though I think she thought I was joking - and really just threw it out there like a 'wouldn't it be fun' kind of idea -I saw it as the absolutely PERFECT way to end 2010. We both had been put through the ringer this year. Both coming out with heads high, eyes sparkling and lips biting.
And through my annoying persistence....(really annoying actually)....
....so while all our loves are with their loves and family is snuggled in happily on Christmas Day......
We're going to be on a beach.
We fly out Christmas Eve on a jet plane direct to the Caribbean. We arrive shortly before the clock strikes Midnight on Christmas Day.
So thank you Life.
This Christmas, we're making our Lemonade.
Under palm trees.
